Archive for March, 2010

I had a few very clear instances of Mike’s presence – of reaching through the veil to me.  Within the first few days after his death, there was a message on my cell phone – a whispered, “I love you”.  It had to be Mike.  I’ve read about these occurrences. 

The top of the dresser in our master bedroom is filled with family photos and other special objects. Next to Mike’s photo, I placed the small flat metal heart I had given him right after we were married  – and that he carried every day in his pocket with his change.  On one side is engraved, Love Flows Through Me, and on the other side, Love Surrounds Me. When I looked the next day, I discovered the heart had moved.  Guess who?

A few weeks after Mike’s death, I went upstairs to the bedroom and found the room filled with the strong smell of coffee.  There was no coffee being made downstairs in the kitchen.  I knew it was Mike.  He had coffee every morning. 

I recommend reading the book, Hello from Heaven, by Bill & Judy Guggenheim.  It helped validate for me the after-death communications I had from Mike were not unusual.


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It is a bummer that Mike took off his earth suit so soon. In some ways, I thought we were just getting started on our life together.  We’d been married for just 4 and a half years.  I could see how we were both sanding off the bumps and corners of each other as we evolved our life together.  I do know that in pushing the eject button on his earth suit, Mike realized a more expansive sense of who he is – that Love Life essence that never changes. 

Over the past few months prior to Mike’s transition, I had been noticing and appreciating the ordinariness of our relationship – the everyday little things.  Just having Mike at home – whether he was napping or reading,  or cooking together, or watching a movie together with our daughter.  We loved dinner and a movie at home or going out.  We loved to cook and entertain our friends.  It was fun to plan what we were each going to make.  I do have to mention his amazing lobster bisque.  One sip and I wanted to marry him.  Thank goodness this is one recipe that IS written down.  I am grateful that I was noticing and appreciating the ordinary gems in our relationship.  I do miss both of us cooking in the kitchen together – it is what our remodeled kitchen was designed for.  I miss the we.

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