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Archive for January, 2011

It’s been quite a while since I added a post.  In mid-September, I attended my annual WomanSpirit retreat – 5 wonderful days among the redwoods with girlfriends and 100 other women.  Last year, Mike helped us load up the car and then he stayed home and relaxed.  This year, I took Mike with me – bringing his drum to play, and thinking about him a lot.  A psychic friend at the retreat told me Mike was standing right next to me, so I guess he did tag along.  I thought I would write about this after our retreat but I wasn’t ready to do so.

October 21st was the anniversary of Mike making his sudden transition – exiting his earth suit.  I didn’t realize what a hard day that would be.  I was grateful I had a dinner scheduled with friends that evening.  I thought I would write something that day, however, I discovered there was still much to be processed before I could write again. At this point, a year had passed – beyond the “remembering what Mike was doing last year at this time”.  So much for it being easier, it just seems more final.  I think a part of me has been in shock all year.  Now the reality and more grieving are present.  

November 24th was Mike’s birthday.  Last year, I had bought a Kindle a few months before his birthday and was looking forward to give it to him as he loved to read. The Kindle sat in the drawer for a year.  I didn’t know who to give it to.  In November, I had to file some papers with the county clerk.  The gal behind the counter was telling me about a drawing they were having in the office and the prize was a Kindle.  She really wanted it – she loved to read.  It seemed like the signal to me, and a week later I went back to see her and gave her the Kindle.  I was surprised that I cried afterwards. 

We celebrated Christmas out of town this year.  I didn’t want to repeat our usual traditions at home that had included Mike.  My daughter and I went to Santa Fe for the week which was very relaxing, with help from the massages at the hotel spa.  I rarely stop and rest – something Mike was really good at.  We visited with family and friends, walked around the square, checked out shops and museums, and enjoyed local restaurants.  I thought I would write this blog while I was there – but no, it was time to just stop.  Mike would have been proud of me.

I’ve spent some time going through photos of the past few years.  Mike didn’t like to get his photo taken but I did manage to have some taken.  I even had photos taken that I thought I would send as a Christmas or New Year’s card.  That never happened, although now I can show them all with no complaints from Mike, just lots of memories.

  

Christmas 2006 Family Picture

Mike's Curry Dinner - Yum. May 2008

Mike's favorite spot on the deck. May 2008

 

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