I took one of Mike’s sarongs with me on my trip to Bali. We stayed for two nights at a resort on the ocean near the island of Manganyan, known for the best snorkeling – amazing fish in wild colors and beautiful coral. We spent a day on the water riding out to the island and snorkeling in two different areas. We got soaked in a rainstorm mid-day. Back at the resort, I hung my sarong up to dry . . . and left it behind by mistake when we left the next morning. Although it turned out it really wasn’t a mistake. In fact, I had a bit of premonition that it might happen when I packed the sarong. I obviously needed to leave a bit of Mike in Bali. It felt right. Mike and I had talked about living there part-time while he worked on a project in Australia. It was to be his last time working at a project site.
I’ve been back from Balifor two months. It seems shorter than that. I went with the intention to give myself a gift of a break from all that has occurred the past 2 plus years. Unplugging and going to the flip side of the world is a real break from the day to day. And such a beautiful place to do it – with an incredibly wonderful group of girlfriends.
Since coming back from Bali, I discovered that I have been in a fog since Mike split this earth scene. A friend said it is a healing fog – cushioning the shock. It’s been a year and 8 months. The fog is lifting, and I am grieving again. Since all emotions are good, this must be the next step in accepting the change that has occurred with Mike being gone. I find myself weepy at odd times. I know to just let it out. I don’t spend time figuring out why. More diving to the depths to release the grief and allow greater healing to occur. What I learned in Bali with my girlfriends when one would start getting teary . . . blubbering is good.
Widowz Healing Blog 