When Sheryl Sandberg posted June 3rd on Facebook about her 30 days of mourning since her husband died, I was pulled into to her deep feelings and grief. I so related to what she said. Although I have not been posting for quite awhile, I have written more about the loss of my husband as well as exploring grief in our society. Sheryl so eloquently shares her thoughts and feelings – allowing others to remember and share those same feelings of grief even if they hadn’t expressed it as well as Sheryl has. I am in tears each time I read it. She also shares how to relate to those in mourning from her own 30-day perspective. Most people don’t know what to say. Sheryl writes: “Real empathy is sometimes not insisting that it will be okay but acknowledging that it is not.” Or, just changing the question by adding “today” – “How are you today?” Simple yet subtle shifts for greater connection and understanding.
I am grateful that she shared her feelings with the world. It seems to me that death, grieving and mourning are coming out of the shadows in some ways. It affects us all. Certainly, Sheryl’s post going viral reflects a connection and readiness to receive this depth of sharing about something comment to all of us. It made the front page of the San Francisco Chronicle the next day. Each week, there is an Op-Ed article in the Sunday New York Times that addresses death and grieving. I see these articles as a further opening of this conversation in our society. There was also the Metropolitan Museum in New York’s Costume Institute exhibit last fall, “Death Becomes Her: A Century of Mourning Attire” that reflected a time (where there was prescribed etiquette and mourning fashions from the 19th and early 20th centuries. This was a time when death was a more prevalent cultural conversation and acknowledges through dress and appropriate displays and actions. Here’s the link about the exhibit: http://www.metmuseum.org/about-the-museum/press-room/exhibitions/2014/death-becomes-her
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